Setting Self Doubt on Fire: Negative Feedback; the double slap

  1. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: Let’s begin the Fight
  2. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: Rejection – The Ugly Word
  3. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: Learning to Juggle
  4. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: To Dump or not to Dump
  5. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: Keep the Faith
  6. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: Finding Your Identity
  7. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: Just for the love of it
  8. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: 5 Step plan for success
  9. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: The Planning Issue
  10. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: The Crossroads
  11. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: The Overwhelming Effect
  12. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: The Waiting Game
  13. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: Reflection 2013
  14. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: New Year New Challenges
  15. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: Am I a real Writer?
  16. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: Taking The Next Step
  17. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: Submission Phobia
  18. Setting Self Doubt On Fire: How To Get Ideas
  19. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: Dealing with Fear
  20. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: The Only Guarantee
  21. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: The Doubts of others
  22. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: Let those positives shine
  23. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: First Draft Blues
  24. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: The Time-wasting issue
  25. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: Embrace the bad ideas
  26. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: Writer or Author?
  27. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: Negative Feedback; the double slap
  28. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: Pat yourself on the back
  29. Setting Self Doubt On Fire: The Deflated Eureka Moment
  30. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: The doomed quest for perfection
  31. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: Writing Group fears
  32. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: The Horror Tree Crew tackle Mr Self Doubt
  33. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: The Read aloud challenge
  34. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: Find your inner belief
  35. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: NaNoWriMo and Self-Doubt
  36. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: We are NaNoWriMo winners
  37. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: New Year’s Resolutions for Writers
  38. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: The benefits of organizing
  39. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: The Editing Strain
  40. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: The Writing Group Experience
  41. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: Dealing with second stage fears
  42. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: Reading aloud to an audience
  43. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: The Importance of perseverance
  44. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: Self-Doubt or Gut Feeling
  45. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: Get ready for NaNoEdMo
  46. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: The Benefits of Writing Goals
  47. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: Rejection Gets Better
  48. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: Writers, take care of yourself!
  49. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: How to Boost Your Self-Confidence
  50. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: Why You Should Go to a Writing Festival
  51. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: Help! A Publisher has Dropped Me
  52. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: The Setting Self Doubt on Fire Challenge
  53. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: How to Prepare for a Book Reading Event
  54. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: It’s NaNoWriMo and NaNoEdMo Time
  55. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: Help! I Didn’t Reach My NaNo Goal
  56. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: Let’s Beat Self-Doubt in 2017
  57. WIHM: Setting Self Doubt on Fire: Female Horror Writer and Proud
  58. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: Don’t Let Self-Doubt Make You Miss Deadlines
  59. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: Hey! Where’s My Book Reading Audience
  60. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: 5 Tips on How to Ignore the Negative Voices
  61. Video Refresh: Rejection – The Ugly Word
  62. Video Refresh: Setting Self Doubt on Fire: Learning to Juggle
  63. Video Refresh: To Dump or not to Dump
  64. Video Refresh: Keep The Faith
  65. Video Refresh: Finding Your Identity
  66. Video Refresh: 5 Step plan for success
  67. Video Refresh: The Planning Issue
  68. Video Refresh: The Crossroads
  69. Video Refresh: The Overwhelming Effect
  70. Video Refresh: The Waiting Game
  71. Video Refresh: Am I A Real Writer?
  72. Video Refresh: Taking The Next Step
  73. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: Let’s Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway in 2019
  74. Video Refresh: Submission Phobia
  75. Video Refresh: Dealing With Fear
  76. WIHM: Setting Self Doubt on Fire: The Female Horror Author Reading Challenge
  77. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: Writer or Author? Video Refresh
  78. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: Beat the Fear of Self-Publishing
  79. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: Do NaNoWriMo Differently This Year
  80. Setting Self Doubt on Fire: How Can Online Groups Help Writers?
  81. Setting Self-Doubt on Fire – AuthorTube – Learn How to Describe Emotion
  82. Setting Self-Doubt on Fire: How to Set Realistic Goals for NaNoWriMo

Setting-Self-Doubt-on-Fire_header

Hi all! I’m back with my self-doubt fighting words, and today’s topic deals with something that damages your, already frail, self-belief more than just rejection alone. Shocker, I know, what could be worse than rejection? The simple answer is negative feedback, or comments.

 

Now let’s get into feedback, we all know how valuable it is, how it helps us to improve our work if we get constructive criticism. I have found it helpful when an editor sends you a message just to say what is wrong with the piece you have submitted, but what helps me to see that a story is still workable is just a few words of encouragement, just to let you know that the story isn’t a total fail, and you’re not wasting your time on this journey. Now while many of us don’t even get a rejection let alone feedback, there are some occasions when the feedback you receive is just negative, not necessarily horrible, but having each negative part of your story listed, and no mention of whether there is anything good about your work at all can feel just as bad as your work being called crap. Just imagine a child giving their mother a drawing they are so proud of only for her to tear it up in their faces and say it was rubbish. It would hurt, really hurt.

 

So the question is, how do you get over this, and fight the urge to quit? Well folks I have some pointers to share with you, and they have helped me through my dark periods of self-doubt.

 

  • Remember it’s the story that’s the issue not necessarily you as a writer.
  • Remember why you wanted to write the story in the first place. This can be the positive anchor that you need to not lose hope on the story.
  • Look to your more successful stories, compare that story to them, and look to them to remind yourself that you are not a huge failure.
  • Keep writing, and keep reading.
  • Don’t read the story too soon after rejection, this will only convince yourself that there is even more faults with the story, which isn’t helpful
  • Remind yourself of your goal and why you are doing this.
  • Remember this journey is a snail pace rollercoaster, there will be downs but there will also be ups.
  • You can improve and get better, you just need to keep going.

 

The pain of rejection never eases, that I have realised, but what does change is the way you deal with it. Overtime you will heal quicker and continue marching through because folks if you are in this for the love of it the only time you will stop is when you draw your last breath.

 

So come on folks let’s continue following this yellow brick road because we cannot allow Mr Self Doubt to win.

 

To end this post, here is another inspirational quote:

 

“I seek strength, not to be greater than other, but to fight my greatest enemy, the doubts within myself”― (P.C. Cast)

 

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Nicole Simms

Nicole J. Simms is a UK horror, crime and fantasy writer. However, she is open to writing in other genres. Her stories have been published in anthologies, in magazines and on websites. In 2016, she won the Nine Voices’ 50-Word Halloween Competition with her story ‘Meeting the Parents’. And, her self-published e-book The Book of Drabbles is now available to download for free. She is also the deputy leader of the Oldbury Writing Group, a West Midlands based writing group. They have published a WW2 anthology together titled From Sunrise to Sunset, and they are now working on their second anthology. Stephen King, Sharon Bolton, J. K. Rowling, R. L. Stine and Kelley Armstrong are some of her favourite authors. And, when she’s not writing, she loves to bake, paint, knit and go on nature walks. Find out more at: Website - http://nicole-j-simms.co.uk Facebook link - https://www.facebook.com/NicoleJSimmsWriter Twitter link - https://twitter.com/NicoleJSimms1 Goodreads link - https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/19383148.Nicole_J_Simms

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