December 2023 Horrorscopes: The Dearly Demented Gift Guide!
It’s that time of year again! So drink up your pitch-black coffee, get out your holiday shopping lists, and venture out into the cold, cold, world to buy your gifties for all your gruesome ghouls!
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21). Restless wander Sagittarius may be frustrated with the structured expectations of the holiday season. But before they get that homicidal twinkle in their eye, sign them up for a subscription to the Finders Seekers escape room games. They’ll get a monthly box in the mail stuffed with clues and puzzles to solve and, even better, this exciting mystery adventure is set in fun locations around the world! Seek it out here: https://findersseekers.com/.
Capricorn (December 22—January 19). The way to a Capricorn’s heart (or mind, anyway, because that’s where their heart is) is through merch for their office space. And they’ll love the chance to let their inner fiend out to play with these delightfully spooky desk accessories!
And a coffin zen garden kit to remind them that even a Capricorn needs to chill out once in a while.
Aquarius (January 20—February 18). As Aquarians are drawn to the arcane, and to the shadow side of perception and knowledge, they’ll be fascinated by the symbolism on these darkly decadent tarot cards. As soon as they open their gift, they’ll be imagining the rich and mysterious journeys they’ll undertake with the aid of these decks.
Pisces (February 19—March 20). Even dreamy Pisces has a darker side…after all, mermaids are not necessarily the saccharine sweet characters as typically depicted in modern-day mythology. They embody the changeable power of the ocean in all its beauty, and all of its fury. Pisces will cherish these wearable reminders of the ocean’s might.
“Release the Kraken” pendant: https://enchantedlivingmag.com/collections/mermaids/products/release-the-kraken-pendant
Aries (March 20—April 19). Feisty Aries has a graphic doppelganger in the character Emily the Strange. Brash, inquisitive, and definitely one that blazes their own path in life; it’s a match made in…hell!
Emily the Strange bumper stickers: https://emilystrange.com/collections/new-arrivals/products/new-6-pack-emily-bumper-stickers
Emily the Strange Slingshot T-Shirt: https://emilystrange.com/collections/emilys-holidaze-gift-guide/products/red-slingshot-regular-tee
Emily the Strange “Bad Kitty” hot sauce: https://emilystrange.com/collections/bad-kitty-hot-sauce/products/bad-kitty-hot-sauce-3-flavor-set
Taurus (April 20—May 20). Even those with the blackest of hearts and souls can find comfort in life’s (or death’s) simple pleasures. The domestic-minded Taurus will find such bliss in crafts, recipes, and other cozy-as-a-very-sharp-kitchen-knife literary tidbits contained within two curated collections by Horror Addicts.
Horror Addicts’ Bloody Tea: https://hanetpress.wordpress.com/2023/02/13/horror-curated-bloody-tea/
Horror Addicts’ Guide to Life 2: https://hanetpress.wordpress.com/2022/05/30/horror-addicts-guide-to-life-2/
Gemini (May 21—June 20). Just because Geminis tend to have the attention span of a rabid rabbit doesn’t mean they don’t love a good creepy tale or two. Luckily for them, Trembling with Fear 6 has plenty of bookish nibbles for this sign to read in between the million and one shiny baubles that are attracting their attention. This collection of chilling short stories is sure to be a hit with suspense-loving Gemini!
Buy the entire Trembling with Fear book set here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09B4B29YT?binding=paperback&ref=dbs_m_mng_rwt_sft_tpbk_tkin
Cancer (June 21—July 22). Nothing says Cancer more than “@$&!”. While this “Crabby” pin and sock set might be a little cutesy for Horror Tree, just remember that our crusty crab has a very soft shell. Under all the barnacle growth, that is!
Leo (July 23—August 22). Even more then pampering themselves, they love pampering their companion pets. Which will most likely be cats they adopted from a shelter, and they’ll love the concept of a “rags-to-riches” scenario. Leos will spare no expense for their beloved felines, and they’ll indulge in their own spooky design aesthetic in the process. These gifts will sure get both your Leo and your Leos’ pets purring!
Virgo (August 23—September 22). Planners, what else? Since the Virgo is always overbooked and buzzing around like an angry wasp, it’s about the only thing that might bring peace and stability to Virgo’s workaholic world.
Marketing and Social Media Planner: https://wecanmakethat.me/planner
Libra (September 23—October 22). Libras tend to treasure experiences over things, so they’ll be thrilled about the haunted ghost tour you’ve booked for them. Even more excited would be an overnight paranormal investigation event. Either way, you’ve got your holiday shopping covered!
Ghost Tours of St. Augustine: http://www.ghosttoursofstaugustine.net/
Haunted Savannah Tours: https://hauntedsavannahtours.com/
Scorpio (October 23—November 21). The Scorpio walks a fearless path through life. However, there are times when they need to channel that fierce energy into something other than their fists. And, if it is the rare occasion where the scorpion feels outmaneuvered or one-upped, watch out. Or just give them a few books on black magic and hexes and then steer clear of them for a few days. Just in case the spells actually do work.
Hope your shopping adventures are delightfully creepy!
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“Bringer of Nightmares and Storms.” Horror writer Willow Croft is usually lurking deep in the shadows of her writer cave, surrounded by formerly feral (but still fierce!) cats for company. Visit her here: http://willowcroft.blog, or check out her other services here: https://kirsten-lee-barger.mailchimpsites.com/.