Author: Willow Croft

Vampires have always had a hold on people’s imagination for better or for worse, but they seem to be having a resurgence of interest lately. (Remember the 90s-era fascination with all things vampire?). In honor of the release of the movie Abigail this month, I’ve paired each sign with their fictional vampire counterpart. Hope your Spring season is chock-full of rainy, moody days that are perfect for writing your own creepy bloodsucker tales! (Info about the movie Abigail here: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt27489557/).

Disclaimer: These are mock horoscopes and are meant for entertainment purposes only, and are not specifically representative of any particular/actual person or people.

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It’s almost the first day of Spring here in the Northern Hemisphere, but the weather still feels very cranky, to put it mildly. So, what can we do to placate the tempestuous Mother Nature and her denizens? By turning the naturecore trend into a movement that’s about much more than consumerist indulgences.

Every horror writer knows that forests are not as idyllic as they seem—not only are they full of magic, they contain inscrutable secrets yet to be revealed even for the most devout of practical scientists.

This equinox, don’t just pass through the forest on the well-beaten path, blend in as much as possible with the dirt, the leaves, and the shadows.

Paradoxically, it’s also time to embrace the state of natural decay and accept that things don’t have to be perfectly pristine. Abandon the weed whackers, the leaf blowers, and even the driveway brooms and let your yards become as untidy as your windblown hair and your dirt-streaked visage.
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This reading is a little darker than usual (but fitting, of course, for us horror writers). I hope it inspires some delightfully terrifying tales!
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Now that it’s finally starting to cool down, why not load your gear in your car and hit the road, zodiac-style? The entire country is yours for the taking–if you dare!

Disclaimer: These are mock “horrorscopes” and should not be considered as predictive or indicative of any specific person or persons, or their demise. But the roadside attractions are real, so what are you waiting for? After all, who doesn’t secretly love kitschy tourist fun!

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