Epeolatry Book Review: Jurassichrist by Michael Allen Rose
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Author: Michael Allen Rose
Publisher: Perpetual Motion Machine Publishing
Release Date: April 6th, 2021
Synopsis: It’s time for Jesus to attempt his second coming, but linear time progression doesn’t apply to extra-spatial deities, so he ends up coming “again” long before the first time – the Jurassic period. Once he arrives, expecting to see a bunch of human beings who’ve been waiting for him for two millennial seasons, he is surprised to find himself in a weird civilization full of thunder lizards.
Jesus goes into Predator mode, arming himself to the teeth and slaughtering them wholesale, trying to find someone who’s capable of nailing him to a cross so he can get back home, however, dinosaurs don’t have thumbs. What they do have is the “hum,” a magical frequency capable of shaping the world. They have mythical metals. They have a sensible social contract. They have a bizarre, but seemingly decent civilization going.
Mammals however, are the most disgusting, rotten, violent things imaginable, and they seem to be evolving into something worse with the help of a little cosmic power. Something has been providing them with products that shouldn’t be invented for another billion years or so, from the as-seen-on-tv catalog, and they’re taking full advantage of it. Who is behind this forced evolution, and what could they stand to gain? Is heaven full of heroes, or gibbering lunatics?
It’s up to J.C. to set things right and stop the apocalypse and figure out whether the universe really should be run by a bunch of insane deities, or whether it’s better to wipe out heaven and let them sort it all out themselves! Action, adventure, insanity and good ol’ fashioned heresy!
I will start by noting that I have never, ever read anything like this before. Up until this point I haven’t been the largest fan of bizzarro fiction. After Jurassichrist by Michael Allen Rose, I think that’s because I hadn’t found my sort of weird. But this was great. It was a blast throughout. Going into this I thought I was going to get a story about Jesus crash landing in the time of the dinosaurs and just ripping through them wholesale. But what I got instead was much, much more. Each time the story started to lean one way and get a little comfy, Rose threw in a wrench to stir up the insanity.
Here’s the gist: Jesus is ready to finally return for his second coming, but something goes wrong, and he ends up millions of years in the past. Here, readers get exactly what they want right at the start when they pick up a title like Jurassichrist, Jesus fighting to survive amongst dinos. Perfection.
As ridiculous as the premise sounds, Rose still deals with very serious topics. He throws into question the whole idea of the morality of religious organizations and dogmatic faith. All while he keeps us readers entertained with a mix of humor and adventure.
If you’re looking for a romp with a heaping helping of heresy, definitely check out Michael Allen Rose’s Jurassichrist.
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Joe lives with his wife and son in the Pacific Northwest where the Cascade Mountains meet the Salish Sea. He enjoys writing in the weird, horror, and fantasy genres.
Growing up he enjoyed R. L. Stine’s Goosebumps books as well as classics like Dune, and Lord of the Rings. In college he discovered Stephen King, and later Mark Danielewski’s House of Leaves and authors like Clive Barker and Laird Barron.
Joe’s short story, ‘Gustav Floats’, was published in Dim Shores Presents Volume 2. In the spring of 2021 his story, ‘The Pigeon Lied’ comes out in Howls From Hell.
You can follow Joe on the following social media sites:
Twitter, Good Reads, Facebook, and Instagram!