Ongoing Submissions: TQR – Total Quality Reading

by · Published · Updated

Payment: $50

SUBMISSIONS: CONTINUOUS…24/7/365

ACCEPTANCE PROCESS: A venture starts on the floor. If not rejected on the floor, it is then sent to the Terminal for a 2nd round of vetting. If it is not rejected in the Terminal, it goes to the desk of CEO and autocratic leader Ted Rorschalk for final judgment. Just because a venture was accepted on the Floor or in the Terminal does not mean it is going to be featured in this publication. Only when CEO and autocratic leader (aka the monkey) is touched by what a VC is trying to convey will money change bank acounts and bread be broken, capiche?

Caveat Canem (woof woof)
TQR’s editorial process is transparent, and [seeFree Market] you and your work and e-mail correspondence could be talked about by the managerial anomalies judging your work on the Floor and in  the Terminal. Your e-mailed submission letter will also be listed in the BUSINESS OFFICE to note receipt of your venture, minus personally identifiable information such as physical and electronic addresses. (Important: By ‘public vetting,’ we do not mean the capital ventures up for consideration will be accessible to the public, only that the comments of those TQR staffers tasked with reading them will be.)
 

At no time will a work that has been referenced by name on the site, be unnecessarily denigrated or maligned. “Unnecessarily” is indeed a weasel word and gives us the latitude to necessarily denigrate and malign. What I can tell you is that it will be a publishing experience like no other. We can be assholes, but also benevolent gatekeepers with helpful advice and suggestions for the future disposition of your capital ventures. TQR sees its venture capitalists as the electricity that keeps its editorial impulses sentient, and, therefore, would be cutting its own cord bundle by unnecessarily alienating any of its  contributors, no matter how whack. Before you submit your capital ventures, please avail yourself of the processes always available for viewing on the Floor, the Terminal and the Big Board. Caveat Emptor.
GUIDELINES 

1. Send one work per gmail to [email protected] This email address is being protected from spam bots, you need Javascript enabled to view it , and follow this format exactly in the subject line: Submission: “Title”, Author’s name, word count.

2. E-mail one piece per quarter as a Word doc. attachment or rtf attachment.  

3. TQR accepts fiction of 4,000 to 12,000 words. Anything over 13,000 words better be The Greatest Story Ever Told, or we’re gmailing you back a standard rejection, pronto. That being said, TQR takes anything, from romance to speculative future tense obscurities that only God or Donald Barthelme could understand. We don’t put fiction in pigeonholes, but like to think of it all as an archaeologist views an eight centuries-old latrine: You can learn a lot from shit, but it’s got to be good and solid to stand the test of time.  … All you have to do is touch the monkey.

4. TQR publishes 1 or 2 or, at most, 3 works per quarter and pays $50 per published piece.

5. TQR acquires first electronic rights and the non-exclusive right to archive the work.  

6. Simultaneous ventures are discouraged, but tolerated because what other recourse do we have?

 

It’s TQR’s belief this public vetting serves a threefold purpose.  

1. It will at least diminish the constant wailing and weeping of those venture capitalists who bemoan their sad fates at the hands of those capital consortiums who still vet their capital behind a veil of mystery. You may not agree with TQR’s decisions, but, unlike the rest, the vetting process is there for you to behold.

2. It will cut down on the drive-by and often half-assed submissions of those venture capitalists that impose their work upon the Web from the muzzle of a shotgun. TQR’s public approach to winnowing capital will necessarily make one think twice before venturing anything but their finest work. This will act as a natural first cut and ensure the quality of the work being presented on the Floor will be better from the word ‘go.’  

 3.  The public allure of such a wide open process will attract many more investors than the  current style of capital-bearing Web platform, therein guaranteeing a better statistical probability that the Capital Gains posted from the previous quarter will be read by a much higher quantity of investors. Though the possibility of the process outdrawing the product does exist, rest assured TQR is all about the bottom line (Stories Are Our Business).

Via: TQR.

You may also like...