Horror Writing and Anxiety

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Anxiety is something that I’ve struggled with for years. I was recently told that I am a fatalist. I had always considered myself “half a stoic”. Half, because a stoic imagines the worst-case scenario and then relaxes. I imagine worst case scenario and then my mind is stuck there in a repeating loop. So, when my friend said I was a fatalist, I looked it up and discovered that it absolutely does better describe my condition. 

I wasn’t always this way. Over the years, I’ve survived many traumatic situations, some physical and some psychological. I don’t want to talk about that here. Maybe some other time. 

As of late, my anxiety has worsened. I didn’t know why at first. I’ve heard that anxiety worsens with age and especially with women, so I thought maybe that’s it. But I really didn’t like that explanation since it indicates that the condition is out of my control.

I recently commented on a blog post entitled, “Is it Downhill After 50(+) for Women in Horror?” written by Stephanie Ellis. As a result of that, I have now been included amongst a group of women horror writers over 50 on BlueSky and Discord. 

But here’s the thing; I haven’t written any horror in over a year. And then it hit me. That’s why my anxiety has escalated. Believe it or not, when I write horror it relieves my anxiety. That’s true for watching and reading it as well. I realized this while sitting on my back patio the other night in the darkness, listening to crickets and distant traffic. I used to sit out there and imagine scary beings creeping about in the creek behind my house and then I’d think, oh that would make a good story. 

One might think that would make my anxiety worse, but I think it gives my mind something to focus on, so it won’t worry about layoffs, shit breaking in the house, my daughter’s future, and so on, and so on. 

I’m very excited to be a part of this group of women and am looking forward to learning from them! Just thinking of new ideas for horror stories has eased my anxiety and I hope to be writing new stories soon. 

Happy horror writing/reading/watching everyone!

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