September 2024 Horrorscopes: Which Magical Academy Should You Attend?

by · Published · Updated

Courtesy of my recent move, I have gotten to experience the magic (the good and the bad) of living in a college town. I won’t regale you with my tales of both wonder and disenchantment; instead, read on to discover which literary magical academy you’ll be lucky enough to attend!

(And, during the course of my research, I have now discovered 101 books about magical academies I am dying to read!)

Disclaimer: These are mock horoscopes and are meant for entertainment purposes only, and are not specifically representative of any particular person or people.

Virgo (August 23—September 22). The first line of the book’s description on Goodreads made this inevitable for a Virgo: “Rachel Griffin wants to know everything.” From that moment, I imagined the environment in author L. Jagi Lamplighter’s tale to be one of endless explorations of library bookshelves. Okay, there’s more to the Unexpected Enlightenment of Rachel Griffin than that, but, still, I’d sign up for the “Roanoke Academy for the Sorcerous Arts” in the time it takes to turn a page. Since it’s a YA book, there are adventures aplenty but there’s also mention of DICTIONAIRIES and ENCYCLOPEDIAS! Now, excuse me, I’m off to pack my bags and stuff my cats in their cat carriers. See you there, my fellow knowledge-hungry Virgos! Casting a Spell on You: Spellbooks, scrolls, historical documents, crumbling archaic parchments, inscriptions—any sort of written record that the Virgo scholar can glean for magical wisdom.

The Unexpected Enlightenment of Rachel Griffin: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18346244-the-unexpected-enlightenment-of-rachel-griffin

Libra (September 23—October 22). According to Akata Woman’s description on Goodreads, this series is about the main character, Sunny Nwazue, finding balance in her multilayered identities. Because Libra is also seeking balance in all things, I suspected they’d be keen on a magical learning environment that is not limited to the walls of an academy, but is a fluid and ever-changing (and continual) process that intuitively balances the physical world with the world of the mind and the spirit. Casting a Spell on You: Libra will probably shy away from items that are purported to be magical tools, in fear they may become over-reliant on spells and other potentially gimmicky tricks and talismans. Instead, they’ll adopt practices to help keep them balanced, calm, and open, such as meditation, deep breathing, and long walks (or swims) in natural environments.

The Nsibidi Scripts series: https://www.goodreads.com/series/64643-the-nsibidi-scripts

Scorpio (October 23—November 21). It was hard to settle on a magical academy for Scorpio, so I imagine they’ll just spend the rest of their life honing their skills at institutions that offer both martial arts and sorcery that is more cunning and on the darker side of the spectrum. Still, Scorpio will probably settle on an initial course of study at the Summoner’s series Adept Military Academy, where they’ll learn both fighting skills as well as how to summon demons. Because, you know, Scorpio will do whatever it takes to win the war, or to ensure a successful end game. Casting a Spell on You: Scorpio won’t go wrong with an enchanted blade, or a magical set of arrows that always find their mark.

Taran Mathuru’s The Novice (Summoner series #1): https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/22297138-the-novice

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21). As Sagittarius is in possession of both a mind and a spirit that is eternally on a spiritual quest, they’ll love the heady promise of schools like author Victoria Hanley’s Healer’s Keep and the Temple of the Oracle in her Healer and Seer series. Both healing and scrying are talents the ever-curious archer is keen to pick up, and they’ll love the rags-to-higher-knowledge adventures of the third book’s (Light of the Oracle) heroine Bryn who becomes a student at the Temple of the Oracle. There are multiple pathways to knowledge, after all, and the Sagittarius is dedicated to exploring them all. Casting a Spell on You: While Sagittarius likes to travel light through this world, they’ll still carry with them various tools of their craft, like a crystal ball, scrying glass, tarot cards, runes, Ogham sticks, ritual bones, and various powerful herbs or crystals that will help them travel to other spiritual planes of existence.

Healer and Seer series: https://www.goodreads.com/series/57675-healer-and-seer

Capricorn (December 22—January 19). Capricorn is no stranger to hard work, and is likewise willing to pay almost any price to fulfill their ambition and achieve professional success. As they are so driven and dedicated, they are completely intrigued by the mysterious and demanding academic environment of the “Institute of Special Technologies” in the Russian novel Vita Nostra. As grueling as the education appears to be, industrious Capricorn will no doubt graduate with honors…or die trying. Casting a Spell on You: A spell to eradicate the need for sleep, or one that provides unlimited energy to the spellcaster.

Marina and Sergey Dyachenko’s Vita Nostra: amazon.com/gp/product/0008272891/ref=as_li_tf_il?ie=UTF8&tag=boorio-20&linkCode=as2&camp=217145&creative=399349&creativeASIN=0008272891

Aquarius (January 20—February 18). Aquarius is a soul that is always seeking a higher purpose, a deeper clarity of being, an artifact that will help them transform themselves, or even a portal that will enable them to reach a more enlightened state of consciousness (or enter into a world that is more enlightened). This sign not only hopes for a shedding of old ways and thoughts, they hope to evolve into an entirely new-and-improved self. They will avidly yearn for an opportunity such as the one that enables Chris Vines’ main character, Caleb Helm, to attend the magical Azyl Academy as gifted teen Kupiec Aiden. Casting a Spell on You: A magical artifact that allows them to not only dimension-hop between worlds, but to travel backwards and forwards through time as well.

Azyl Academy (Elemental Gatherers #1): https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/49495389-azyl-academy

Pisces (February 19—March 20). Sometimes, like how the visibility diminishes the deeper you swim beneath the water’s surface, Pisces tends to swim around in emotional waters that are just as murky and disorientating. Pisces is a fluid being in a world that demands a certain level of consistency and stability, and so they often find themselves drifting through a welter of conflicting emotions rather than committing to one clear-cut course of action. They’ll be drawn to, as the main character Charley Forest in Pegasi and Prefects hopes, the sheltering environment of Fernleigh Manor boarding school for a “quiet final year”. If and when Pisces is disappointed, they can at least hold out hope for their own magical happily-ever-after love. Casting a Spell on You: While it could be said that Pisces prefers swimming through murky waters of the unknown, they may secretly yearn for spells that bring clarity and light—fog-lifting spells, or spells to provide light on the darkness of nights.

Eleanor Beresford’s Scholar and Sorcery series: https://www.goodreads.com/series/144511-scholars-and-sorcery

Aries (March 20—April 19). Aries will wallow delightfully in the violent backdrop of Mark Lawrence’s Red Sister about main character Nona’s journey to becoming a “Red Sister” at the Convent of Sweet Mercy. Impulsive and passionate Aries won’t wait for an invitation to join the convent, they’ll simply set out double-quick to storm the walls until the convent’s staff relents and lets them inside to begin their training as a “holy killer”. Casting a Spell on You: Aries will dedicate most of their non-combat energy into discovering new spells that allow them either invincibility or an inability to feel pain…or both!

Red Sister (Book of the Ancestor series #1): https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/25895524-red-sister

Taurus (April 20—May 20). For a devoted and loyal Taurus, nothing is more powerful than the magic created within the hearth and home. In their own quiet way, Taurus weaves that magic in order to create a refuge against the ill wishes of their enemies. In a way, Cinda Williams Chima’s Seven Realms series attempts to capture that same domestic magic. Within the walls of The Exiled Queen’s (SR #2) academies, Mystwerk House and Wein House, the main characters hope to find a refuge as they go about their magical (and military) training. Casting a Spell on You: The Taurus will inherently be drawn to charms and spells of a protective nature, especially those that ward off danger, threats, and intrusions upon their beloved domicile.

The Seven Realms series: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/17860841-the-seven-realms-box-set

Gemini (May 21—June 20). It shouldn’t be any surprise to you that Gemini would be drawn to an academic environment that featured twins. And not just twins, but twins who have gone to great lengths to honor their gender fluidity. In Tamora Pierce’s Song of the Lioness series, twins Alanna and Thom switch places, with her training to be a knight in Thom’s place, and with Thom taking her place at the convent to became the magician he’s always wanted to be. This series might just inspire Gemini to start their own gender-fluid magical academy, rather than waiting for an invite that might never come. Casting a Spell on You: The only spells that might hold Gemini’s attention for more than a microsecond are the ones that allow them to shapeshift their form. Because being one thing forever and ever is just so boring, you know?

The Song of the Lioness series: https://www.goodreads.com/series/43928-song-of-the-lioness

Cancer (June 21—July 22). Like the Taurus, Cancers are all about their family. But where Tauruses are open books, and are easy to read, Cancers hold their cards very close to their chest. While they would do anything for their loved ones, they may also appear secretive and subtle when it comes to expressing that love. Cancers are cunning and shrewd and they risk appearing manipulative towards their friends and family. Still, underneath that armored shell, they typically have a good heart. The Cancerian fondness for playing guessing games in order to keep their relationships interesting can also be used to protect the ones they love against those that seek to harm them, such as the main character Wild in the Shadowspell Academy series does. Wild takes the place of her younger brother at the Academy, not only to protect him and her family, but to work against the Academy from the inside. Casting a Spell on You: Cancers will use their time at their magical academy of choice to perfect their invisibility spells, which will be essential for both their eavesdropping activities as well as for their desire to know what’s happening when they aren’t around.

The Shadowspell Academy series by K. F. Breene and Shannon Mayer: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07QQVKYJW?binding=hardcover&ref=dbs_m_mng_rwt_sft_thcv_tkin

Leo (July 23—August 22). Showy Leo won’t give up their place in the limelight, not even for the chance to show off a whole different kind of magic at the academy that’s courting them. They’ll sympathize completely with the struggles of Prudence Stewart at her new school, Agatha’s Day School for Witches (Kelly McClymer’s Salem Witch series) as she struggles to learn magic and maintain her reputation as a cheerleader extraordinaire. (But, let’s be honest, here, Leo will have to work just as hard as Prudence Stewart to suspend their disbelief that any self-respecting parent will give up a posh Beverly Hills lifestyle for a more modest Salem one. At least Boston is nearby…and NYC. Right, Leos?) Casting a Spell on You: While Leos may struggle with the more academic side of magic, they’ll embrace the benefits of glamour magick to make themselves even more irresistible and successful—though they will deny it fiercely. Besides, isn’t it poor etiquette to ask? Shame on you for questioning the Leo’s natural talent and glow!

The Salem Witch series:

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/89528.The_Salem_Witch_Tryouts

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/667649.Competition_s_a_Witch

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1658548.She_s_a_Witch_Girl

You may also like...