Setting Self Doubt on Fire: When Your Health Gets in the Way of Your Writing
It’s been a long time since my last post—a lot longer than I had planned, but I’ve been struggling lately, which has stopped me from getting much done. And it was while thinking about all of this that I realised I should share my story because I’m sure I’m not the only one struggling like this, and I have some helpful tips that I’ve discovered which are slowly helping me. So, this is what I’m going to share with you all today.
But first, I want to share why I’m struggling. I’ll keep it brief, but you can read my blog post if you want to know more. I have cavernomas on my brain, and during March 2019, one of those cavernomas bled. This bleed caused me to have numbness on the left side of my body, vertigo, chronic fatigue, memory problems, difficulty concentrating, balance problems and neuropathic pain.
Thankfully, the vertigo eased, but the rest of my symptoms remained, including the neuropathic pain, which is my main issue—it has affected my mobility and caused me to be virtually housebound. And all of this has had a negative impact on my writing.
When I became ill, I wasn’t able to write at all, and that terrified me. I’ve never been able to shake off the fear that one day this condition will stop me from writing. So, as soon as I could write again, I piled on so many goals onto myself, which just left me stressed and anxious.
I’m also having to get used to my brain working differently. I take longer to write, I’m so easily overwhelmed, and I struggle to focus, but I still fear the consequence of another bleed, so I end up becoming angry and frustrated with myself for being so slow and wasting time. But all this does is drop my mood and motivation down even further. It’s a vicious cycle. Seriously, I would never speak to someone, especially someone dealing with ill health and chronic pain, the way I speak to myself.
I have now, however, been taking steps to break the cycle. Instead of expecting myself to be the Nicole I used to be, I’m trying to accept and be kind to the Nicole I am. So, I may not be able to do as much as I could before, but I’m still taking steps towards my dream. They just happen to be tiny steps instead of giant leaps. Progress is progress, as Sara Lubratt (the authortuber) says.
Okay, that’s enough about me. Let’s get into these tips.
- Be kind to yourself—we need to talk to ourselves the way we would speak to someone else in the same situation, instead of acting like our own drill sergeant who expects us to work harder and faster.
- Be patient with yourself—remember, you’re a human being, not a robot, and the world won’t end if you need to take longer to do something.
- Write what you’ve achieved each day—you may not believe you’ve done much, but you’ll be surprised when you write it all down. However, be careful about what you focus on.
In my journal, I used to have a section where I reviewed my day. However, what I would write under this section was all negative. I only focused on what I didn’t do and how disappointed I was with myself. I was beating myself up with my journal, so I changed the section to ‘what have I achieved today?’ And this has a better effect on me mentally—I’m often surprised by how much I have done.
- Breaks tasks down into smaller tasks to stop you from feeling overwhelmed—I struggle with this one, but I’m getting better.
- Practice self-care and take breaks—you may fear you’ll get nothing done if you’re not working all the time, but trust me, either you choose to take a break, or life will force one onto you. It’s better to choose.
- Tell Mr Self-Doubt to suck it because you will do this; it’s just going to take time.
- Speak to someone (a professional, family, friends, support group etc.,) about how you’re feeling. It helps.
If you too are struggling with ill health and/or chronic pain, comment below or get in touch with me (I’m on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram), especially if you find my tips helpful or if you have any tips of your own—the more help the merrier.
Don’t forget, if you struggle with self-doubt, and you want to be part of a group where writers can share their fears, motivate each other and offer support, then join my ‘Setting Self-Doubt on Fire Squad’ group.
Okay, that’s all I have for you today. Stay safe, everyone. And I’ll speak to you again soon.
‘Be patient with yourself; trust in the Universe; find mentors; know that you can achieve whatever you set out to do.’ ― Diane L. Dunton
- About the Author
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Nicole J. Simms is a UK horror, crime and fantasy writer. However, she is open to writing in other genres.
Her stories have been published in anthologies, in magazines and on websites. In 2016, she won the Nine Voices’ 50-Word Halloween Competition with her story ‘Meeting the Parents’. And, her self-published e-book The Book of Drabbles is now available to download for free.
She is also the deputy leader of the Oldbury Writing Group, a West Midlands based writing group. They have published a WW2 anthology together titled From Sunrise to Sunset, and they are now working on their second anthology.
Stephen King, Sharon Bolton, J. K. Rowling, R. L. Stine and Kelley Armstrong are some of her favourite authors. And, when she’s not writing, she loves to bake, paint, knit and go on nature walks.
Find out more at:
Website – http://nicole-j-simms.co.uk
Facebook link – https://www.facebook.com/NicoleJSimmsWriter
Twitter link – https://twitter.com/NicoleJSimms1
Goodreads link – https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/19383148.Nicole_J_Simms