This event has passed.

Taking Submissions: The Seventh Annual Weird Christmas Flash Fiction Contest

Name: Taking Submissions: The Seventh Annual Weird Christmas Flash Fiction Contest
Start: 2024-12-01T00:00:00-06:00
End: 2024-12-01T23:59:59-06:00
Location: Weird Christmas

December 1

Deadline: December 1st, 2024
Prizes: $50 for each of the 3 category winners, $35 for each piece accepted (Technically pro-rates with the word count.)
Theme: Flash fiction of no more than 350 words that’s both about Christmas (or any other winter holiday) and simultaneously weird

am not dead. Nor have I given up the contest. I’m just late. Very late. Months late. But that means that this year, I won’t be announcing the contest when it’s unbearably hot, even though now it’s unbearably hot all the way through September. Climate change and the threat of ever-increasing summer just means I’ll be happier when it finally comes time to die for real. At least death seems colder. Cooler, at least, than Chicago in September.

But you don’t care about me. You care about weird Christmas stories! And that’s a good thing, so let’s get one step closer to them! This is indeed the SEVENTH year of doing my little conceived-with-no-forethought concept that continues to eat up my entire November and December, but which I’m still lovingly devoted to! [Last year’s show/site is here.] And it’s time to get to the nitty gritty of this year’s seed-planting.

This is a contest for flash fiction of no more than 350 words that’s both about Christmas (or any other winter holiday) and simultaneously weird. Exactly what that means is, of course, up to you because you’re the one with literary pretentions and a damaged psyche. All you have to do is make something about the Christmas season seem new and unsettling with a bit of that grinning like you’re not sure if it’s funny or creepy, and you make your fellow co-conspirators in this hell of existence a bit more bearable.

I’m changing things up a bit this year. In the past, I’ve given out an overall winner, but I never felt comfortable doing that. I think it made the winner happy and precisely no one else, including me. Not that I didn’t love those stories — I did or I wouldn’t have given them pride of place, the world is already competitive enough without adding extra layers of it. Why publish a bunch of stories that I think are great and then say, “But they’re not as good as this one!” when I didn’t believe that, anyway. I also didn’t like not paying everyone a professional rate.* [*As defined by the Science Fiction Writers of America, or at least $.08/word.]

Thing is, tho, contests get more attention than mere “anthologies,” even in general they pay less. So I’m compromising and keeping a tiny smidge of contest-ness while also spreading the cash around a bit more. I think of this as an Anthology-with-Highlights, but that’s not exactly rolling off the tongue. Plus, whatever, the “Contest” has social media and Google algorithm traction, so we gotta keep some brand-recognition alive, I guess.

So instead of an overall winner, I’ll stick with the prompt categories and give the “winner” of each category a $50 prize. Every other “honorable mention” (as I called them in the past, but I also need to change) will win $35 just for making it on the show. Both of these “prizes” are now above the pro-rate, so for those keeping track (or who need pro sales for writers’ organizations) can now list them in full honesty. Plus, my conscience will feel much better.

There are three “Prompt Categories.” You have three ways to enter this year. The first two are the usual, and the third is the special sauce this year:

“Stocking Stuffer” – In this category, just write whatever the hell you want. Anything goes as long as it fits the rules and general guidelines down below.
“Weird Cards” – Head to Twitter or Tumblr or Facebook or Instagram and find an old card I’ve posted. Write a story inspired by it. Be sure to link the card when you submit your story.
Special “Weird Unreal Cultural Celebration” – Create a new holiday. But it also has to be from a new culture. Maybe even a new species on a new planet in period of history that doesn’t exist. I’m not talking “Merry Spaghetti Day!” I mean something like how the astral beings of the Fourth Allegorical Realm of Post-Unitarian Saturn celebrate alternate birthdays. Something truly weird. Lisa Owens’ story “The Holly Berry Ritual” from last year’s show, really stuck with me because it depicts a sort-of Christmas celebration in a surreal froggy-swamp-creature setting. I had no clue what to make of it, which is why it fascinated me. So I thought it’d be cool to try to imagine all kinds of weird holidays celebrated by things you didn’t even know had holidays. I hope this one generates some true oddities.

I’ll publish at least a dozen or so stories, total, and each one will be paid $35. The category “winners” will each be paid $50.

therwise, the rules are the same as previous years:

Deadline December 1, 2024. Winners will be announced on the podcast/site as soon as I can get it out, hopefully before Christmas.
350 word max limit (title not included). No exceptions.
$50 for each “prompt” prize. $35 for every “honorable mention” (10-12). [I use Paypal but can make exceptions.]
Winners will be read on my podcast (preferably by you, but I can find others) and published on my site.
Submissions must be EMAILED to [email protected]. Either paste it into the body or attach a file. Please include your name, but writer bios are unnecessary (until we get to the winners).
You can submit multiple stories, even multiple stories for each prompt. I will accept poetry, but it must be narrative.
Identify somewhere in the subject line or title if you’re entering it as a “Special” or “Weird Card” category entry. Otherwise, I’ll assume it’s for the general “Stocking Stuffer” prompt.

And then I’ve got some general guidelines to answer the perennially asked questions:

First, What should the story be about? Make it weird, strange or odd. It can be “Haha!” weird or “Oh, Jesus, no!” weird. It can be genre (sf, fantasy, horror/weird, bizarro, etc.) or it can just be off-kilter. Sentimental is fine, but it better be sentimental in a way that leaves me feeling…uncomfortable. As long as it’s something about the holidays we aren’t expecting, it fits.

Second, Does it have to be specifically about Christmas? It must be related to any winter holiday (Christmas, Hannukha, Kwanza, solstice celebrations, “Yule,” etc.). You can include other holidays like Halloween or Easter, but it still needs a strong connection to the winter season’s celebrations.

Third, How do I know what you like? A few people asked which well known authors I like for comparison. I don’t advise trying to copy their styles, but a few names that you can check out anyway: Michael Cisco, Steve Aylett, Leonora Carrington, Gene Wolfe, and Shirley Jackson just to name a few who sort of circle around what seems right for this. The best thing to do is to see what I picked from the previous contests here, here, here, here, and here.

Fourth, A tease: I’d love to collect and publish all of these after another round or two, and I started looking into it. So keep in mind that it might be more than just a random online contest somewhere down the line…And that leads me to…

Fifth, Do you keep the rights to the story? I’m asking for first rights to publish your story here and on the podcast. Beyond that, feel free to submit it somewhere else simultaneously, as long as the other venue doesn’t ask for exclusivity while the contest is ongoing. Note that if I publish it, and you do want to take it somewhere else after the contest, it will technically count as a reprint. Keep that in mind if you’re hoping to get this published somewhere that pays more than I can, and, truth is, reprints won’t be as attractive to most markets. Hopefully paying a bit more this year won’t make that an issue too often, but I like to be clear.

Finally, What if I’m trying to make a career as a writer? Is this thing legit? Like I said, this year I’m paying at least $.10/word which counts for most associations as “professional” market sale. Every piece that ends up on the site/show will be paid this year. Thank you Patreon supporters! And thank you to Ko-FI.com supporters!

Oh, and don’t use AI. Don’t be an idiot. Current language AI is all about pattern copying from things other people have written. That’s pretty much the opposite of weird. If you’re too lazy to write, try a Burroughs-esque “cut up.”

If you have any other questions, please contact me at [email protected] or [email protected].

Via: Weird Christmas.