Trembling With Fear 3-9-25

A Midnight Autumn Walk, by Austin Anna

An autumn chill had fallen in the night, bringing short breezes of cool air that ripped through my flannel shirt. I didn’t mind. It was welcome after the hot summer this year. 

I enjoyed these evening walks. Each step on the cracked sidewalk was like a ticking clock hypnotizing me to my thoughts. I took a breath and put my hands in my jean pockets. The sun had all but faded behind old homes that were built in the economic boom of the fifties. Now the once brown and light wood and lumber had faded into grays and blacks with years of winters and rain. People still lived there, most employed by the retail and corporate stores that dot the main road of this town.

A few of those people were outside, smoking cigarettes or taking a late night drink of their liquor of choice. Most were in their late 30s to mid 40s. They paid me no mind as I passed them. The smell of their cigarettes nauseated me. Reminded me of my Uncle John. He smoked like a broken wood stove. It made his entire house stink. I never took up the habit, though most of my cousins did. There wasn’t much to do except smoke, drink, and complain about life. I admit I did my fair share of drinking and complaining, but I was trying to do better. 

I still drink on the few occasions I go to a local bar with my work friends, but I had my fill of liquor and beer in my twenties. I’ll admit I expected to be a little further in life when I hit thirty, but I was single, no children that I was aware of, and I still lived in the same apartment as when I graduated highschool. I still worked the same dead end job at the convenience store, cashing people out and hearing the same old jokes. If you can’t run it up, it’s free—that one annoyed me to no end. 

I stepped out from the old road into the ‘New Growth’. This part of town was once something else entirely, before it was demolished. Most of it was filled with old mom and pop shops—small places that knew you by name—but they were replaced with new things with commercial areas, like fast food places and department stores for all your fast-paced life needs. 

It has been like that since high school. It had been the trend to go to the local video game store, department store, a novelty for a smalltown. A novelty that wore out its welcome.

I walked past a phone store, still open. A teenager was behind the counter, leaning on the register, bored and tired. I shook my head—Wasteful, I thought—and continued into the bright streetlights as a few cars passed me. 

I yawned, tired, but my feet continued to walk. I needed this. Work has been hell and I can barely make rent each month, leaving nearly no room for food or other bills. These walks were my escape. I could imagine I was a creature of the night, wandering and observing the world, apart yet separate.  

I walked into the parking lot of the department store. I had no idea why; it just felt right. I took a breath of the cold night air. The parking lot was near-empty, just some late night drunks. I went into the shadows, leaning onto the brick wall. It was cold and seemed to drain my warmth away. I closed my eyes for a moment. Fuck, what the hell am I going to do? Rent was due soon, but with a lower paycheck this week. I didn’t know if I could even—

“Hey, man,” a voice said.

“I ain’t got any money,” I said, holding my hands.

The voice chuckled. “I don’t need any money. Just a bit curious as to why a man like you is out and about this time of night.” The voice suddenly had a face, smiling, pale with sunglasses straight out of the sixties, and hair that was an eighties reject.

“Just out for a walk,” I said.

“That’s cool, man,” he replied. “I could say the same, man, just out for a stroll on the town, man.”

“Can you even see with those sunglasses on?”

“Man, I see everything crystal clear,” he chuckled.

I squinted. Was this man high? 

“Only two types of people go on night walks, man”, he said. “The bored or the damaged. So which one are you, man?”

“I guess the bored kind,” I shrugged. “Which one are you?”

He laughed: “Man, ain’t we all a bit of both. We are all damaged in some way, and since nothing is happening at this point in time, it makes us bored. So we walk.”

I crossed my arms. Curious. “You from around here?”

“Nah, man,” he said. “Well… I guess I’m a little from here. Born right over there, over that hill.” He pointed past the rooftops of run down businesses to the hills beyond.

“Uh-huh,” I said, taking out my phone; 10% battery left.

“Phones, man,” the pale man said. “Tools of the corporatists. At first they were a novelty but then they became a necessity of today’s society, man.”

I nodded and put my phone back in my pocket. “Yeah I know what you mean.” 

I was twelve when the first smartphone had been released—too young to afford it; they cost nearly a thousand dollars. I had to hope my parents or friends got one. My father bought one later that year. It held music, could browse the internet and call people when you needed to. Ingenious. Soon everyone had one.

“I tell you, man,” the man said. “They are a trap. It’s like the pot with the frog. You get me?”

“Yeah I get you. I’m Paul.” I held out a hand to him.

He took it, his hands cold and grip strong. “They call me Chester.”

“Who calls you that?”

“Well that is what my mama called me and my few friends do.” He smiled, teeth shiny and white

“Well, I guess I will call you Chester then,” I said, taking my hand away and rubbing it. “Wow, strong grip.”

“I got the strong hands, man,” Chester said. “My mama told me that I was the strongest of all my brothers and sisters.”

“So you have siblings?” I yawned.

“I used to,” said Chester as he leaned on the wall of the store. “But that was a long, long time ago.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“No worries, man,” he said, smiling. “I have moved past all that shit.”

“I was an only child,” I said.

Chester chuckled: “Then you be the lucky one, man. I had to fight for everything.”

“It was actually quite lonely,” I said.

“Yeah, I can see that man.” He paused, and then: “All this standing around is making me cold.”

I too was getting a little chilled standing here. “Sure, where you wanna go?”

“Wherever my feet take me, man.” 

We began to walk away from the department store and down a road, so old that street lamps were still their amber color. This street was full of abandoned businesses. I remembered the road; the old Gagliano Store used to be here. It had been nearly twenty years since I had set foot on this asphalt. Checked my phone again—5%, dropping fast. Chester walked a brisk pace, mellow and unbothered. Suddenly he stopped and turned to face an old shop. It was the Gagliano Store, the sign held on by a few screws, the green paint worn and chipped. The windows that once were bright and inviting were now cold and dark.

“A damn shame, man,” Chester said. “A damn shame. When I was a little boy I used to come here all the time, man.”

“I did too,” I said. “Mr. Gagliano used to give me a free piece of candy.” I couldn’t help but to smile. “Shame he had to close down.”

“He got old,” said Chester, “but that ain’t why he retired though.”

I nodded. “I know.”

“Big department stores are like leeches man, sucking this town dry.” Chester shook his head. “Sucking them dry…” 

I nodded and turned to walk away. Chester’s hand touched my shoulder: “Leeches suck the blood from things,” he said. “Suck them dry.”

“Y-yes,” I said. “Um, I’d like to go.” 

I turned away. Then there was pain. My neck felt like it was on fire. Chester’s mouth was latched onto my throat. I wanted to scream but it caught in my chest. 

Hot blood dripped down my neck as I gasped for some air—but there was like an elephant on my chest. My legs numbed and I slumped, but Chester caught me. I was getting weaker by the second. I wanted to fight back but my arms wouldn’t move. They were heavy and limp. Chester dropped me. I fell hard onto the cold sidewalk. I gasped, feeling the blood from my neck drip down my body. 

“Ah, not too bad, man,” Chester said, “Not too bad at all.” He walked away. 

I was heavy and my body refused to move. Lost a lot of blood…my eyes were heavy. Using all my willpower, I pulled my phone out. tapping, 9…1…1. The screen flashed low battery and turned itself off. No! The phone slipped from my hand, falling on the sidewalk. My eyes drooped. A little sleep and I’ll…

I closed my eyes, darkness took me.